Monday, 6 June 2011

Size does Matter!

On my way through East Langdon today I noticed that the Swallows were feeding over the Moat, u=nlike me oblivions to the rain. They were taking their rest periods on the wires and although I wasn't able to tell the males from the females it did illustrate how the streamers are variable and some do get damaged.

Looking at these three, and remembering that females are supposed to use the size of the streamers to judge the suitability of the males to be their mates, you could imagines the scene. This chap would, perhaps get a start in life, but would probably be dumped when something better turned up. A sort of Mr Average.

This one reminded me of the famous sketch by Pete and Dud (the audition for Tarzan).

Mrs Swallow: "Mr Swallow - you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of Mate."
Mr Swallow: "Right".
Mrs Swallow: "Now Mr Swallow, I couldn't help noticing - almost at once - that you are a one-streamered Swallow."
Mr Swallow: "You noticed that?"
Mrs Swallow: "I noticed that, Mr Swallow. When you have been in the business as long as I have, you come to notice these little things almost instinctively."

Mrs Swallow: "Need I say with over much emphasis that it is in the streamer division that you are deficient."
Mr Swallow: "The streamer division?"
Mrs Swallow: "Yes, the streamer division, Mr Swallow. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right streamer, I like. I like your right streamer. A lovely streamer for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said, "A lovely streamer for the role". I've got nothing against your right streamer. The trouble is - neither have you."

This would be a simple "Well hello Big Boy!"

1 comment:

Derek Faulkner said...

Very good Tony, it made me laugh, so it was that funny.